Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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