I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He better not be in your backpack
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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