Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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