Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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