On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The air was thick with penises
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
