SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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