our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
