you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
