Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
