I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
