chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
