I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
