Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
