can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
