she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
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i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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