I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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