I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She's the barista slut.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
