We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
