butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
