Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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