I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
