I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
