I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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