You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
