Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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