tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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