Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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