what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
