Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
last night I used snow as a chaser
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
