well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize