Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
wanna go halves on a baby?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize