Don't you send me to vm
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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