so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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