I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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