Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
