I got chris browned last night
Yo dont text me then not text me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize