yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
