make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
