Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
