i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize