If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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