You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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