you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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