So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
