It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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