this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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