dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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