we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
