you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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