And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
