i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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