Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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