i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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