why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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