Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
