that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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