Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
