we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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