I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
