Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Drunk is not a location!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
