A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's the barista slut.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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