these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
