Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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