Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
