just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My vagina is officially offended.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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